Meal-based pet peeves

  • Make sure there is enough for everyone, especially the greedy me. Otherwise I will just order or cook more than I can consume.
  • Don’t you dare clear the table and put away the food, while I am still around my plate (yes, even if it is empty).
  • Please try to stay away from topics like gastric trouble, bodily fluids and so on. My tolerance has not yet reached Zen level in this respect. I will squirm and get snappy. I once kicked a guy on his shin for saying the fish curry I was eating looked like menstruation blood to him. Away from my plate, I am okay with your associations, I actually enjoy them.
  • Don’t you dare make yucky noises at something someone else is eating. It is their food. I hope you understand such a simple concept.
  • If you’re inviting me over for a meal, make sure you have enough ever-silver bowls and plates. Plastic kills my appetite. And I like to keep my side dishes separate from the main dishes, unless and until they are meant to be put together or the feast and its availabilities demand it.
  • Don’t force anyone to eat. Don’t starve yourself for them. If they enjoy watching you wallop a meal, do it in style.
  • Don’t go on pointing out mistakes to the cook. Though it is customary in some cultures to enjoy a feast by saying something good and bad about the food to ward away omens, try to put your superstitions aside and make the chef feel good by wiping your plate or leaf clean. After all, they fed you.
  • Try not to blow cigarette smoke right on to my face when I am eating, unless we are on the beach or in a tea shop. It confuses my sense of taste.

I am sure that I have more pet peeves, but these are the ones that immediately came to mind. Do you have any? Are yours personal or culturally rooted?

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